You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've maxed out the plastic trolling online dating sites, and you still haven't met the right person. Or, you've ended up dating a series of potential perfect matches, only to be disappointed. Why are your friends able to hook up, but you're always left high and dry? Have all the good single people slid off the Earth?

Listen, if you continually date people who suddenly stop calling, who turn out to have some type of social tic like complaining incessantly or being mean to waiters, who never stop talking about themselves, who are incapable of telling the truth, you have a problem. And the problem is you.

Yes, you.

If you want to attract a good, fun, and genuine person who will love you and make you happy, then you must love yourself and make yourself happy first. If you usually end up dating losers, you are clearly short in the self-love department. You see, according to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. So if you don't love yourself adequately, you will attract people who hurt or disappoint you. Always.

Think this is a bunch of hooey, do you? Well, give it a chance and your life will change. I want you to go to the bathroom right now, go to the mirror and look yourself in the eye, and say, "I approve of myself." Say, "I love myself unconditionally."

Oooh, doesn't that feel weird? Doesn't it feel creepy?

Of course it does. Most of us haven't been raised to love and approve of ourselves. We have no problem looking in the mirror and telling ourselves that we're hopelessly bald or that our stomachs jiggle. Self-hatred is perfectly acceptable. Looking in the mirror and saying, "I approve of myself, and I love myself unconditionally" is weird. And scary.

But I want you to keep it up. I want you to get behind the wheel of your car tomorrow, and instead of speed dialing some chum while you're flying down the parkway, say "I approve of myself" out loud again and again and again. Say it one thousand times. Say it at home while you're doing the laundry. Say it when you're cooking dinner (or peeling it out of a paper bag).

After a couple of weeks, your subconscious will accept the fact that you truly love and approve of yourself. And guess what? You will attract better friends, better jobs, better circumstances, and yes, much better dates. Your posture will improve, too.

You will find that you attract people who are more reliable and less neurotic. "Good" single people will seem to come out of the woodwork. You will not have to work so hard to get a second date or to maintain a relationship. People will want to be with you because you feel good about yourself.

Self-love attracts love like a magnet. Go for it.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com .

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