Reason4sex.Org

Conflict In Faith

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19, 2004
My husband is Jewish, and I am Catholic. That wasn't a problem when we were dating, because he isn't religious. He married a Catholic before, and their daughter was raised Catholic.
A reformed rabbi married us. I sacrificed being married in church by a priest, but we shared our traditions. My husband broke the glass, and we lit our candles. My family wasn't too happy I married outside my faith, but they accept him.
When our daughter was born, I didn't want my children growing up with no direction, so I decided to raise her Catholic. My husband wasn't too happy, but he agreed. His family was invited to the christening, but they refused to have any part of it. I bit my tongue and let it go, but I resented them for not being there.
Four years later we have a son, and it's his turn to be baptized. This time they come to the party, not the church, and they don't bring a gift. So that's another slap in the face. Two months ago our daughter had her first communion. I asked if they wanted to be part of their granddaughter's day, and they said no. So to me that's another slap in the face.
Through the years we celebrated my husband's holidays with his family, and my family went to their bar mitzvahs. My husband agrees with his family that it's okay for them not to be involved, but I know for a fact his family has gone to christenings, communions, and confirmations for their neighbors.
Well, after 10 years, I no longer want to be involved in their holidays and family functions. In three year's time, when it's my son's turn, I know they'll do the same thing. My husband is in the middle, which I know is hard for him, but I can't bite my tongue anymore. I want to know how to stop hating my husband's family.
Alyssa
Alyssa, what if you kept inviting vegetarians to an all-you-can-eat steak tartare dinner? (That's seasoned raw beef.) Would you really expect them to attend? You knew when you married there was a divide. Your in-laws are of a different faith, and different faiths oppose and contradict one another.
If you don't have a problem going to their religious events, then go. But don't expect or invite them to yours. They find them indigestible. When you were married by a rabbi, you suggested things might work out otherwise. All your in-laws are doing by not coming or giving a gift is affirming "this is not what we want."
When Wayne was in the navy, the rule in the wardroom was no one was allowed to discuss sex, politics, or religion. Perhaps you and your in-laws can put religion in the category of topics which are off-limits. How much healing might be possible between you in just leaving religion out of your relationship?
Tamara
Something To Hide
My name is Joy, and I'm 20 years old. In March I met a guy online. He is from Canada. He seems to be a sweet guy and I like him a lot, but some things don't add up. I'm curious he didn't give me his number because he said he did it before and it caused him a lot of pain.
He doesn't have a web camera because he lives at home with his mom, and he said she doesn't want a webcam in her house. Yesterday I e-mailed him and told him it's over because I'm afraid of getting hurt and him turning out to be a serial killer or something.
Joy
Joy, he's probably not a serial killer, but a web camera might catch a glimpse of something he doesn't want you to see, like a wife and children. You did the right thing by ending it. When something feels amiss, trust your feelings.
Wayne
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

MORE RESOURCES:
RELATED ARTICLES
Dating Women From Russia: Important Tips The Marriage Agencies Never Tell You
I want to share with you information that the Russian marriage agencies don't tell you on their web sites.Many of the dating agencies tout, how young Russian women are so family oriented and will make wonderful wives and family partners.
Ending a Relationship Gracefully
Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them.
10 Clues of an Online Affair
1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line.
Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face
Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind's tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present.For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for.
How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship
Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of years, but they have not been put to good use for modern couples. Instead they have developed a bad reputation for being legalistic, money-grubbing things, negatively preoccupied with all that might go wrong in the future, and too often used to strip a woman marrying a wealthy man of her rights to property, support, and inheritance.
27 Characteristics of Loving Men
Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows how to fulfill her heart's romantic desires. Speaking of that special someone; is your special someone a lover or just an average Joe? No pun intended if your guy's name is Joe.
Relationship Advice: 5 Tips to Make a Strong Marriage Even Better
1. Time together is time during which the complete focus is on each other.
The Sting
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28, 2004Two days ago, purely by accident, I found out my husband was a member of an online sex and swinger service. I unintentionally opened his e-mail, thinking the computer was logged on to my name, not his.
The Five Second Flirt Technique
The first thing you want to do is to get into the line of sight of the man you are attracted to. When you catch his eye, you must give him the most inviting and receptive look you can manage, for three seconds? Count them.
Pros and Cons of Online Relationships
Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating and preserving a good relationship. Computers and the internet have merely added a new wrinkle in old pattern of love and loss.
False Forecasts Lead to Matchmaking Hell
False ForecastsThe typical methods for finding a partner are based on personality tests, psychological profiles, and our own evaluation of a potential partner.Most of the matchmaking techniques used on these sites are doomed to failure because the harmonious relationship forecast turns out to be false.
Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words
Just about every night at our house, we read a book called "Say The Magic Words Please" to our young son. The story has lots of magic words, such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me.
A Kiss is Never Just a Kiss!
"Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear." Edmond Rostand"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story.
Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?
Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover if you have had relationships based in reality or fantasy!I want you to recall a failed relationship and ask yourself one question, "Why didn't it work?"Initially, you may answer, "They cheated, lied, changed, etc." But be honest with yourself.
After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better!
Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one especially if you have no family of your own. You tend not to go out as often as you did when you were a couple.
Is Your Husband or Wife Cheating? Five Great Reasons to Hire a Private Investigator!
Discovering an affair in your relationship is indispensable, but that's just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children.
Be Glad That There's Quarrel in Your Relationship
Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing.
The Big Secret of Age
Think back to when you were a child. Pick a time when you were aware of the world and starting to notice things around you, perhaps 10 or 11 years old.
Anniversary Blues
Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do.
African Dating - Pride and Ambition
It is no secret that African culture is known for its pride. Most Africans do not have a problem standing up for their beliefs and causes, and are often ambitious when it comes to obtaining specific goals.

Home | Site Map | Sex | Dating | Marriage | Relationships | Yoga | Webmaster | Products |