What do you talk about on a date? Is it okay to just listen and nod attentively or are you expected to take an active part in the conversation?

Do you get nervous at the thought of going out with someone new? When you think of going out on a date, is it like 'been there done that' or do you think of ways to wow your potential new love? For those of you who are super confident, you can stop reading here, but for the rest of us (who could use a little help), following are some basic guidelines to follow to help you make great date conversation!

1. Listen to what the other person is saying.

Don't pretend, nod without listening or zone out - pay attention to your date is saying to you! If you decide to keep seeing him or her, she'll be grateful that you remember that her grandmother raised her or that his mother makes the best apple pie in the world.

2. Pick up on conversational cues.

Most people are dying to talk about themselves, and you are the perfect listening audience! If your date casually mentions that he used to play football in college, ask him about it. Or if she mentions that she used to be the 'bomb' back in the day, draw her out in conversation. You could be just the friendly ear he or she needs to remember those old 'glory' days.

3. Have something to say.

Think about what you want to say. Practice some things in your mind. And please don't give in to the TMI (Too Much Information) Syndrome. You may have started off talking about your cat, but, believe me, he does not want to hear about the interesting places Fluffy deposits her little hairballs! And, guys, please don't tell her all about your last girlfriend - she is gone for a reason, don't resurrect her for your new date's benefit.

4. Don't talk about sex on the first date.

Yes, I know we all break this rule sometimes, but you're better off leaving sex out of the conversational rotation. Why? Because once you go there, it's hard to get back to regular conversation. And where does talk about sex usually lead? To more talk about sex and deeper revelations until all that's left is to try it out! So, leave it alone until date four or five and, for tonight, tell him or her all about the last movie you saw instead.

5. End on a positive note.

If you mistakenly mentioned your Aunt Hortilda and got a bit carried away describing her obsessive toe nail clipping, redeem yourself by changing the conversation as soon as possible! Laugh at yourself for mentioning such a thing, talk about something positive and leave the date on a positive note. Don't overstay your welcome, don't end the conversation by dogging out your boss or your new sister-in-law and definitely don't share any deep personal revelations (like the fact that you were molested at age 2) on the first date. You can and definitely should talk about those things with someone you are seriously involved with, but that takes time. Don't let that be the last thing your date remembers about you at the end of the evening.

So date and have fun! Enjoy yourself, keep it lighthearted and make sure you keep the conversational ball rolling. But, most importantly, be yourself!

Sonya C. Triggs is a contributing author to Urban Christianz Ministries. Visit this website to find more great articles and advice for Single Christians!

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