"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1900-1944, French Aviator and Writer

If you are looking for a lasting, deeply satisfying relationship, you might want to consider Antoine's definition of love. Hollywood and romance novels spend a lot of time showing lovers locked in an embrace, gazing into each others eyes. And when that happens and you feel that zing, it is GREAT! But that is not the stuff that lasts.

At first when we fall in love, everything goes along great! You think about the other person all the time. When you are together you can't keep your eyes off of them. You smile and coo at each other. It's as if there really are birds singing in every tree and rainbows follow you wherever you go! But then something happens.

Maybe you decide to get married or move in together. You know there are bound to be disagreements and you are prepared to work them out. You are realistic. You've been in relationships before. But you thought this one was going to be different. After all, we have so much in common. We both like the same kind of ice cream. We like to do the same kind of things on the weekends. This is one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships, that is, believing that if they have common interests everything will be fine. But what about when things get tough. What will see them through?

In my Soulmates Success Training we spend a lot of time identifying your values, vision for your life and life purpose. When you know what you value and what values are important to you, you are more likely to live by them. When you know what the purpose of your life is, you can use that as a compass to guide you in the direction of your dreams. Living from your purpose and in alignment with your values leads to feeling satisfied.

Since your spouse is your primary relationship, your life partner, it only stands to reason that you must share common values and a common vision for how your life together will be. It is that common vision that keeps you both looking out in the same direction. It is that common vision that allows you both to work independently, yet toward a common goal. It is that common vision that you share that will see you through the tough times and make the good times even sweeter!

Deb Melton is a certified singles coach and offers individual tele-coaching, teleclasses and live events to help singles prepare to find the love of their life and the life that they love. Deb's philosophy is that it's never too late to live the life of your dreams. She lives in Denver and has been a ski instructor and hiking guide and loves to travel to romantic cities in Italy and France. Sign up for her Free column Love Notes on her website http://www.denversinglescoach.com/ezine_signup.html or contact her at 303-986-2223.

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